God in His Kingdom (A exploratory story)

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God in His kingdom, a right of ownership, foundation cracked, pipes uplifted, the foolish dreams of power that existed only in the realm of insanity, still him, forever him. Greedy little hands and wandering eyes disrupt what once was pure now twisted and deformed. Happiness was delusional, sadness a dream, numbness was reality. The kingdom was nothing less than he wanted but more than he could handle. His kingdom crumbling in his control was his to lose.
God in His kingdom, the vastness of the light that gave way to million little sparkles in the sky, the same sparkles that had been around since before the earth was formed. Everything perished, everything rotted, everything died, including stars. How many corpses were floating in the night sky, the most shiny and beautiful of space? He looked up at them now just like Alexander the Great did, just like Pocahontas, just like the great kings. Science killed the creativity over what the stars were or why they were there but their beauty still stood.
God in His kingdom, a constant bloodbath that never creased, wars fought, bodies rot, deaths that could never be brought back. It’s taught from an early age what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Death was valued, morals were inconstant, histories rewritten, and it’s been this way from the start. From the words of man, control was the key, written books could carve what the ideal persona was. Cut this passage out, change this one, throw these away, lock these in chains, erase those, it’s not hard to see why some got lost.
God in His kingdom, a mental delusion or a safe haven, of whispering confessions confused and demented. Of last rites that seemed more pure than any other prayer but just as hollow. Blinded by the safety of claim, and the blanket of pride for misleading of lies. Stand confused, stand strong, in the end neither mattered.
God in His kingdom, a burial of ones sanity, the disruption of ground, of crosses laid out where nobody would see. The sea was red, the angels were wingless, the chapel, a center of a sinkhole, the apple, rotten before the bite, the book once valued lay broken on the ground.
God in His kingdom, a personal demon, of last trials and broken desires. The war was fought, it never stood a chance, winning was impossible when nothing ever changes. Of regret and prayer that neither was answered, of turning your back for some scientific help. Of begging and pleading, of urges and hate, of promises that were broken, for fears due to some neurons that were cross-fired in all the wrong ways. Of the definition of evil and the definition of good and the twists and turns that combine both.
God in His kingdom, a last beg, Stigmata crossed his wrist, still not cleansing the soul. Cross back and forth between two words of science and religion that neither helped nor healed, the prayers lost in time and space. He stood in the clearing, looking up at the stars, his last attempt to get help.
God in His kingdom, a mere human being, forever trapped in his desires, looked at his knife in his hand before looking at the tent that stood out in meadow with no trees. God turned his back on him, the act of a over stressed supernatural being that had too many to help and powerless to save any. Science just throw a disorder at him, as if the diagnosis would clear him all of the wrongdoings he had yet to play out.
God in His kingdom, a broken whisper, the tent was lit with the outline of flashlights and people changing within. He watched and twisted his knife around. An owl hooted in the distance, a coyote killed a rabbit, the moon shined down like a hungry beast ready to feast. The light turned off, the tent now black; he looked at his knife once more. Animals hunt in the safety of night, deaths were natural, survival was a treat. Time was being wasted; he had to act soon, if only not for the morals he had been brought up to believe.
God in His kingdom, a mind made up, of the urges that he couldn’t resist. God drowned most of the world during the great flood, God sacrificed virgins for the safety of his angels, Eve destroyed what peace humans should have had. So what right did he have to judge? Society broke down, violence everywhere, overpopulation lead to game. As he slowly made his way to the tent he begged one more time as if somehow God would hear him this time…
“God I beg you heal me of my desire to kill. God please, I don’t want to be this way, I want to be a good person. Please god, help me. Please.”

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