1.Opening a bag of chips and sitting down to watch my favorite horror movie sounded really nice after a long day at work. What I didn’t know as I dipped my hand into the bag was that it was full with hundreds squirmy midgets.
2. For the last three days my cat has been looking at the ceiling above my bed, growling, I make a point to never look up. Tonight laying in bed, my cat starts doing the same thing and I found the courage to look up only to see two bloodshot eyes staring down at me.
3. I visited a cemetery today to pay my respects for the dead. The dead only saw me as they next meal.
4. On a camping trip, I fell and sliced my leg open on a rock. Two months later, I was putting lotion on my legs when I noticed that there was something wiggling under my skin.