Hot July Nights

It’s a beautiful night. The setting sun is shining through the window preventing darkness from seeping into my room.  I am listening to the vocals of my favorite bands, one right after the other, while I am going through the manuscript edits my editor handed back to me. I humbly go through my edits, feeling a mix of pride and depression. I knew my shortcomings, I knew my strengths, but I always get so anxious during this part of the publishing process. I feel so anxious because I am so close to the finish line that I can see it and taste it. However, there’s still so long to go between where I am now and the finish line, that it feels me with impatience. I don’t know if I posted this already, my memory is hazy tonight, but my release date will be October 29th of this year. I am so excited for it to be released.

I have been on vacation earlier this month and it was kind of a surprise so I didn’t get to do the monthly writing challenge that I planned on. So, I decided to start today. I wanted to make these short stories or poems still connect to my novel series in some way.

so this is a little flash fiction about Matt dwelling on some insecurities. This piece would come before the first novel.

 

Please enjoy it.

Summertime Blues by Britt Noonan

“I am so disappointed in you.”

I know you are. I heard you tell Calvin when you thought I was in the restroom. I know you hate who I have become. I know I am not the same person you met in the sixth grade. I know you have no idea who I am anymore. I know I am asking so much of you for being my friend. I know I have been screwing up lately.

“Why?”

Stop staring at me like this. I can’t take that look anymore. Stop it, stop it, Alex, stop it. I don’t want to do this tonight. Not tonight.

“Why during my birthday party?”

I don’t know. I don’t know. You’ve been ignoring me the entire night. You’ve been hanging with Calvin and I was just sitting on your couch watching you laugh and talk to everybody but me.  I would rather hang out with Calvin, I got lonely.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Sure, you have. When? When you were flirting with that tall and tan stranger? Sure, you sure missed me.

“Are you going to explain yourself? What were you thinking?”

He called me handsome. He wanted to talk to me. He said I was cool. He wanted to be with me. He showed me attention when even you didn’t.  Even I crave attention, sometimes. Did you forget that about me? Or are you just too busy to notice?

“Whatever, I’m going to go on a walk. I hope he was worth skipping your best friend’s birthday party.”

No, don’t go, please I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I only want you, that’s all I want. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I didn’t mean to make you mad, I couldn’t deal with seeing you flirting.  I want to be the one flirting with you but I know that’ll never be a possibility. I just needed a distraction. I needed to feel attractive and worthy of love for once. That’s it. I’m sorry.

“I’ll call you tomorrow when you are sober. Goodnight, Matt.”

I watch you leave. Leaving me alone in the middle of the street, I stare at the stars overhead. I start to walk home, hearing your words play over and over again in my head. I know it’s me who is wrong. I abandoned your party for sex, I abandoned your party for booze, I abandoned you, the person who means the world to me, for cheap thrills. This has to stop. I promise. I know I have disappointed you but this was the last time I did. For now, on, I am going to change my life so you can be proud of me. And maybe, just maybe, you may find me worthy enough to date. And maybe, I will finally, I can happy. I don’t know if it’ll happen but I’ll try my hardest.

 

Release Date for Novel

Although I hit some rough patches earlier in the year with my sprained wrists, this year  has been going beautifully. I have my second novel in editing and have the release date. You Will Never Leave Me will be released on October 29, 2018.

You Will Never Leave Me is the Sequel to You Will Be Mine, and will focus on the struggles that Matt faces during his kidnapping and Alex’s own struggles in trying to rescue him. Already described as brutal, shocking, and nerve wrecking, the last one-third of the book is a game charger with shocking results. So stay tuned for the exciting second book of the Do You Disgust Me series. I will have it available for preorder starting September 13, 2018. The first ten to preorder will get something special. So mark the calendars with the dates September 13th and October 29th.

I have other important news as well. In March, I will be posting some short stories ranging from comedy to horror. I will be posting two twice a month and will be posting some on amazon as well.

I also have an awesome spooky horror book I have up my sleeve. There is no release date yet but I plan on releasing a very special haunted house horror escape novel that covers a time span of twenty-four hours. So I will release more information on that book as release dates get released.

So stay tuned, remember to follow and be prepared for an awesome year.

 

May 16

 

It’s an hour left of May 16th. I have been busy with finishing my second novel and keeping up with my social media accounts. Its been long and its been nice getting back to doing what I love. I am nearing the end of the second novel author editing and feel proud of the book. I cannot wait to send it out for proofing. I have finalized what to do with contests and a doing a video sometime nearing late August.

A remember:

My novel: You Will Be Mine, paperback is $8.99, kindle is $0.99, and free for kindle unlimited. The link is: You Will Be Mine   

Instagram page: Instagram baby

facebook: https://b-m.facebook.com/brittsuspensewriter/

 

New Year News

We left 2017 behind in the dark and invite 2018 to show us all strength and sanity.

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After releasing my book in October (here is my amazon page…check it out), I took a small break for the holidays. I wanted to spend some time with my family and celebrate in my small victory of publishing. Now, in mid January, its time to get back to work on the next installment of the Do I Disgust You saga. This is a challenging novel to write due to the theme of the book (I do not want to give it away for those who have yet to read or finish my first novel).

This next installment will be intense, violent, and very brutal but still a sense of hope and bravery that leads readers on a ride they cannot put down. My goal is to publish in August of 2018 but will not label the date until I get closer to it.

For anybody interested, please subscribe and check back here for news. if anybody wants to check out my first book, I have the summary here:

Matt Williams, an aspiring rock star, is in a profoundly steep downward spiral. He’s quickly losing control of his life to sex, drugs, and alcohol—and things are about to get much worse.

Matt wakes up naked one morning in a stranger’s bed. This wouldn’t be so unusual, except Matt has almost no memory of the man or the night before. Disappointed in Matt’s poor choices, his friends and bandmates wash their hands of him.

The mysterious one-night stand comes back to haunt Matt: he finds himself being stalked, and the threatening behavior keeps getting worse. With no friends to turn to, and with drugs and alcohol always beckoning, Matt begins to feel closer to death than he has any other time in his life.

Part thriller, part romance, You Will Be Mine is a dark story about addiction and obsession. As Matt wrestles with his internal demons, an external demon comes riding into his life and threatens to take everything. Can Matt reclaim his life from this insidious stalker? And even if Matt escapes this overzealous fan, can he survive his own poor choices?

-You Will Be Mine

 

 

God in His Kingdom (A exploratory story)

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God in His kingdom, a right of ownership, foundation cracked, pipes uplifted, the foolish dreams of power that existed only in the realm of insanity, still him, forever him. Greedy little hands and wandering eyes disrupt what once was pure now twisted and deformed. Happiness was delusional, sadness a dream, numbness was reality. The kingdom was nothing less than he wanted but more than he could handle. His kingdom crumbling in his control was his to lose.
God in His kingdom, the vastness of the light that gave way to million little sparkles in the sky, the same sparkles that had been around since before the earth was formed. Everything perished, everything rotted, everything died, including stars. How many corpses were floating in the night sky, the most shiny and beautiful of space? He looked up at them now just like Alexander the Great did, just like Pocahontas, just like the great kings. Science killed the creativity over what the stars were or why they were there but their beauty still stood.
God in His kingdom, a constant bloodbath that never creased, wars fought, bodies rot, deaths that could never be brought back. It’s taught from an early age what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Death was valued, morals were inconstant, histories rewritten, and it’s been this way from the start. From the words of man, control was the key, written books could carve what the ideal persona was. Cut this passage out, change this one, throw these away, lock these in chains, erase those, it’s not hard to see why some got lost.
God in His kingdom, a mental delusion or a safe haven, of whispering confessions confused and demented. Of last rites that seemed more pure than any other prayer but just as hollow. Blinded by the safety of claim, and the blanket of pride for misleading of lies. Stand confused, stand strong, in the end neither mattered.
God in His kingdom, a burial of ones sanity, the disruption of ground, of crosses laid out where nobody would see. The sea was red, the angels were wingless, the chapel, a center of a sinkhole, the apple, rotten before the bite, the book once valued lay broken on the ground.
God in His kingdom, a personal demon, of last trials and broken desires. The war was fought, it never stood a chance, winning was impossible when nothing ever changes. Of regret and prayer that neither was answered, of turning your back for some scientific help. Of begging and pleading, of urges and hate, of promises that were broken, for fears due to some neurons that were cross-fired in all the wrong ways. Of the definition of evil and the definition of good and the twists and turns that combine both.
God in His kingdom, a last beg, Stigmata crossed his wrist, still not cleansing the soul. Cross back and forth between two words of science and religion that neither helped nor healed, the prayers lost in time and space. He stood in the clearing, looking up at the stars, his last attempt to get help.
God in His kingdom, a mere human being, forever trapped in his desires, looked at his knife in his hand before looking at the tent that stood out in meadow with no trees. God turned his back on him, the act of a over stressed supernatural being that had too many to help and powerless to save any. Science just throw a disorder at him, as if the diagnosis would clear him all of the wrongdoings he had yet to play out.
God in His kingdom, a broken whisper, the tent was lit with the outline of flashlights and people changing within. He watched and twisted his knife around. An owl hooted in the distance, a coyote killed a rabbit, the moon shined down like a hungry beast ready to feast. The light turned off, the tent now black; he looked at his knife once more. Animals hunt in the safety of night, deaths were natural, survival was a treat. Time was being wasted; he had to act soon, if only not for the morals he had been brought up to believe.
God in His kingdom, a mind made up, of the urges that he couldn’t resist. God drowned most of the world during the great flood, God sacrificed virgins for the safety of his angels, Eve destroyed what peace humans should have had. So what right did he have to judge? Society broke down, violence everywhere, overpopulation lead to game. As he slowly made his way to the tent he begged one more time as if somehow God would hear him this time…
“God I beg you heal me of my desire to kill. God please, I don’t want to be this way, I want to be a good person. Please god, help me. Please.”